Work humor

My colleague, who stands the Quebec* watch on the ship,  requested I write a song about him.  Be careful what you ask for.  It's the reactions of the guy that sits behind Quebec, that inspired me.

Post! Post! Post it to stage!**
Post! Post! It's all the rage!
If I've got a SITREP, or an adverse FITREP,***
Why not just post it to stage?

My name is Quebec,
And I say "what the heck!"
If I've got a morsel or tidbit or two,
Something of interest, what do I do?
I put it in chat, and then that's that,
but I just call it "stage".

Post! Post! Post it to stage!
Post! Post! It's all the rage!
If I've got a SITREP, or an adverse FITREP,
Why not just post it to stage?

"Who opened his lunch?"****

 I opened my lunch,

 To share with you

 all of the pleasures I dine

 Sandwiches, pastries

 and vittles divine.

 I put it in chat and

 then that's that,

 but I just call it stage.

Post! Post! Post it to stage!
Post! Post! It's all the rage!
If I've got a SITREP, or an adverse FITREP,
Why not just post it to stage?

* A watch stander representing the Command & Control Warfare Commander
**  "Stage" is jargon for chat software.
*** FITREP is a Fitness Report, a job performance report
****Australian slang: "Okay, who farted?"

The Valerie Cranmer Song

Valerie Cranmer. Non-stop glamour.

A little ditty for a colleague. Everything, and I mean everything, always goes her way. Phenomenon depicted below.

I wish I could be more like Valerie Cranmer
The life of a Marine is filled with such glamour
When I am with Valerie, all I do is stammer
I wish I could be more like Valerie Cranmer

One day I had to go on a deployment,
but Valerie got signed up for some enjoyment
"Valerie will you stay aboard the Dok Do?"
Where she was treated like an O-6, I do know.

Oh, I wish I could be more like Valerie Cranmer
The life of a Marine is filled with such glamour
When I am with Valerie, all I do is stammer
I wish I could be more like Valerie Cranmer

Hypnotic Blue

I admired the wind over the deep blue waters of the Western Pacific today. It is unlike any color I have seen. The sunlight's penetrations through the surface kept me in a trance. This is the last deployment of my tour attached to this Expeditionary Strike Group. When I return, I will take leave to travel to Angkor Wat and Chiang Mai.